Before the Internet hit the scene in a big way, people were lamenting the loss of socializing in the olden days. Of communal living, of evenings spent on the porch having meaningful conversations, of stimulating intellectual discourse, of heart to heart talks with intimate friends. Before radio and TV, people used to spend more time just talking to each other, relating to one another. Blame was also heaped on urban sprawl, the soul-deadening suburban subculture, longer work hours, the disappearance of small, friendly neighborhoods, the slow death of long, handwritten letters and the written word.
Then came the Internet - and it came in a big way. People started going on forums, finding connection in a novel way, and reading and writing, albeit in a different form. Like the sublimely adaptive creatures we are, we took it and made it ours, and as technology influenced us we influenced back and have morphed it into something that fifteen years ago we wouldn't have imagined. Well, maybe Steve Jobs and a few others did, but the vast majority would have no idea how rapid and immediate the effects of the new Information Age would hit us.
Singles who had difficulty in meeting others could meet online, face unseen, and had to have a leap of trust. They did, and in droves. Friendships were formed, weddings were planned, we shared product reviews and frustrations and all of a sudden we connected again. Critics complained about the lack of humanity in these interactions, citing that cyberspace was no place to be truly human.
How Facebook Reinvented - and Revitalized - Socializing
As society became more fragmented, especially in the big cities, people started growing more and more apart. Everyone was busy with their own lives, whether building a career, working long hours just to get by, raising families, or caring for others, that isolation started to set in. "I haven't talked to my dear high school friend in years." "I wonder what happened to Sara." But we moved on with our lives, the Internet's people tracking devices too time-consuming and complicated to truly dig those people out for many.
When Facebook burst into the scene in 2004, it was the ideal vehicle for youth's narcissism and vehicle for peer tracking that college students desired. No wonder then that the idea was birthed in a Harvard college dorm.
Facebook was no MySpace. Whereas MySpace had a complicated, somewhat unattractive interface, Facebook was fresh, clean, and personal. MySpace had a feeling of being outdated very quickly. The "Like" button revolutionized personal connection. How else would you know that your high school friend who lives across the world likes India Arie as much as you do? Or know where your dear high school friend is in the first place?
Many people have reconnected after years of living hundreds, if not thousands of miles apart. Others live a mile away but have never shared anything but casual talk and now are finding themselves surprised and amused by the other's interests, preferences, likes, and are much better able to form a composite of that person. I know, I know, we are not just a collection of likes and dislikes as this may sound. And many people are guarded on Facebook. However, many people also let go of some inhibitions on Facebook and feel free to blast their ranting about life on their status. What frustrates them, what excites them, what amuses them, what they find intellectually stimulating. In real life, you may never get to that conversation.
At midnight in the privacy of your own home you can admire pictures of a dear friend you haven't seen in twenty years, comfort another who was just diagnosed with breast cancer, congratulate another who just found out she's having a baby, wish a coworker a happy birthday, find out about the separation of that couple you wanted to have dinner with, see what real life social events are around you to attend, watch an uplifting video a cousin recommended, and discover the finer points of your partner's religious inclination. This is not TV. These are real people, real lives, and albeit shared on the Internet, more interactive than an imaginary video game or TV show.
All this is fodder for more conversation in real life. "Hey, Martha, I never knew you were into knitting. I knit myself." "Jim, I liked the video you posted. That was my favorite song growing up." "Gloria, if you need to talk, I'm here for you. Call me." If Facebook makes you reach out to people more, you are using it as a tool of socializing, not as your only source.
Instead of lamenting the spread of technology, why not embrace our adaptive qualities and transform this technology to our advantage and use it to enhance socialization, not hamper it? I believe Facebook could be used, like anything else, in a good way or in a bad way. The point is, at least consider the possibility that it can help foster togetherness in the real sense, a sense of connection.
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