Facebook Socializing: Not Just A Face Part I

Facebook is here to stay. What it is about socializing online that is so appealing to us? Perhaps it's because we really get to know the people we "friend". In ways that we wouldn't have dreamed of knowing them. In fact, I argue that in some ways Facebook has helped us get in touch with people on a level deeper than sometimes we have hoped to achieve by merely spending time together in real life in our own busy, preoccupied lives. Facebook may help us reconnect with our own and fellow human beings' humanity. This of course, means that you may want to be careful who you friend. Next time you are considering accepting the friend request of the crazy cat lady down the block, determine first whether you would like to know more of her love life, her most cherished values, favorite childhood songs and political opinions.

When we socialize in real life, as busy parents and workers, we tend to compartmentalize. Let me explain. Say you are a mother of two who spends her time picking up her two children from school and from dance and martial arts classes. Once a month you go on a girls night out. Once every two weeks you go on dates with your husband. Fact of life: This may be all the socializing you get for a few years. Now let us go into each department and quality of friends in each category.

Picking up children from school

You either a) drive around in the car and pick them up, no contact with other adults or b) walk inside the school or stand outside and talk for a few minutes before school lets out. Of course, those of us who pick up our children coming from the school bus may meet a few adults on the way, or not. In that time, any conversation is usually either idle chat about the weather or schools or teachers, perhaps an issue is child is experiencing, whether learning or behavioral. It's unlikely you will get very far, as the child comes in and you're off in different directions. There is not enough time to really converse.

Extracurricular activities

Picking up children from activities is pretty similar, except that the occasional lucky outgoing mom gets a chance to wait around with another mom and really have a conversation. Even then, the topics tend to float around the same theme - the children, the class, school, the odd political comment. Unless a concerted effort is made to further expand the relationship, this is all it amounts to. This, of course, is for most people. I'm generalizing here. But that's just the point. I'm speaking in general terms.

Girls' Night Out

Most, if not all women, want to have fun and forget for a few hours the cares of the household, parenting, even marriage. Women want to relax, recharge, feel like a woman again, reconnect with their friends. Many, however, go about this in the less than ideal fashion. Going out drinking at bars and partying all night may satisfy the youthful vixen that's been lying dormant since you left your college days behind, however, it won't help you connect deeply with your friends. Human beings are wired to reach out, to connect, to want to have hearts and minds meet in a meaningful way. Whether we like to admit or not, our cavemen around the campfire days are not over. We may have blindingly fast-moving technology, but that doesn't mean that we still don't long for human connection at the most basic level. 

To be continued in Next Post..